Grieving from a Distance: Mourning When You Can’t Attend the Funeral

Grieving a loved one’s passing is hard enough. When you have to grieve in solitude, without the emotional support of family members, it becomes much more difficult. We assume that when someone close to us dies, we’ll be there for the funeral, to join with relatives at a time when the bonds of family are most needed. Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn’t work out that way.
 
There are times when professional and personal responsibilities make it impossible to get away on short notice—or perhaps the location of the funeral is too far away and getting there is too expensive and time-consuming. Just because you can’t be there physically doesn’t mean the grieving process stops for you. Going through the catharsis of grief is part of the healing process; you need to cope with your thoughts, feelings, and the guilt you may be experiencing as you manage grief from a distance. Here are some ways to help you do that.
https://www.kidsinthehouse.com/all-parents/grief-and-loss/support/healing-and-cathartic-acts-after-death-loved-one

Self-care
Self-care is always an important aspect of your health—but even more so when you’re grieving. Self care strategies will help you stay mindful of your health through what is certain to be a difficult time. Engage in any activities that help you feel good physically and/or mentally. It could be something as simple as popping in a favorite movie, spending an hour or two at the gym, or engaging in a little retail therapy at the local shopping mall. 
http://mindfulnessandgrief.com/9-self-care-tips-for-grief/

http://www.rehabvillage.org/self-care-checklist-for-mental-and-physical-health/

Have a presence
Just because you’re unable to attend the funeral doesn’t mean you can’t be involved, at least peripherally. Make a point of Facetiming or Skyping with family during this difficult time. There are other ways technology can help: Consider asking someone to stream the service via a private link on social media, so you can watch in real time and feel as though you’re present. It’s a free and fairly simple way to be involved and feel like you’re there. Or you might record yourself making a final goodbye to the departed that can be played during the service.
https://www.dacast.com/blog/how-to-live-stream-an-event/

Accept your grief
Being unable to attend the funeral creates a physical separation that only adds to an already painful situation. You may feel inclined to try and shut off your feelings—to deny your grief since you can’t be there in person. But, remember that denying grief under such circumstances will only make things worse. At some point, you need to vent your emotions so the healing can begin. The Neptune Society offers a free online program called “12 Weeks of Peace,” which is available as an email series (one each week), offering help that can be accessed anytime it’s needed.  
http://www.neptunesociety.com/new-home

Offer your help
Funerals can be chaotic events, and the bereaved are often overwhelmed by details at a time of great emotional vulnerability. Sometimes, a few phone calls and simple arrangements can make a big difference.Volunteer your time; offer to help pull together family photos or any video that could be used for remembrance presentations.

Sometimes, the best way to cope with grief and guilt is to get active and do something that helps the ones you care most about. If you’re unable to get to the funeral, find out how you can help. Staying busy will help keep your mind off your grief and the reality of not being able to be there.
https://nearsay.com/c/201124/94183/3-tips-to-help-organize-funeral-arrangements-with-your-loved-ones

Image courtesy of Pixabay 
​https://pixabay.com/en/cementerio-flor-cemetery-death-948048/

Janice Miller has been proactive in ensuring safety and security in her own community. She is concerned not just in the protection of properties but more importantly in the protection of lives and giving value to it.  [email protected]